Today was the last day of classes, and it was awesome. I did well on an oral final I had tonight, and thoroughly enjoyed the gym this afternoon. As the semester comes to an end I've been thinking about the fact that after next friday is over, I only have one more finals week left at BYU. Next April that finals week will be immediately followed by a short walk in a shapeless blue gown and hat to receive a piece of paper signifying my competence in critical academic areas as outlined by the College of Humanities. And what about when I get my diplomas? and take off my hat? and wake up the next morning? Then this part of my life will be gone, just like that. What I've lived and loved for five years will be as done as Rocky after his last ring fight in movie #7. Unlike the Italian Stallion though, I will never make a comeback to this time in my life. Overnight, I will go from being a degree-pursuing college undergrad to a full-fledged, real-life Graduate and member of society. Does that mean I will have anything figured out? Who knows? It's another four months from now, so maybe, but if my personal history is any indication, chances are that that time will arrive before I am ready for it, and I will be a little shocked at the suddenness with which I see my story change.
I have loads of plans for after graduation though, starting with figuring out a job for the summer. I need a job that will enable me to make enough to save for the future, while still providing the flexibility for me to take a few key road trips I've been planning. Don't tell me it doesn't exist or isn't possible. It will happen. Aside from a job, almost anything and everything else depends on what I hear back from the Fulbright committee come January. Their decision will determine whether I spend the whole of 2012 on Maui's fish in the southern Hemisphere, or whether I start chasing some new and other dreams.
Whatever comes, I excited. I am reminded, even in my uncertainty, that God has all power to make things turn out for our good. He can dream any dream infinitely better than I can, and He has the power to make them all come true too. I once asked Him to help me get into college, and He opened the doors of BYU to me. When I was a sophmore I asked Him to help me travel, and I haven't spent a full year in the country since. At this point in my life I'm asking Him to help me have patience, wisdom, and understanding even in uncertainty, and to bless me with dreams for my life and self which will fit His will for me. In pursuing whatever those things are then, I know that I will be doing what I'm meant to do, which is what I want to do.
Until April then, I guess I will just keep chugging along here. Doing my best here. Trying hard here to live each day to its fullest and not let any opportunities to learn, grow, serve, and change pass by unrealized. In the place of my brain that plans for my future I'll keep dreaming about Tonga and Deutschland and Nashville and New Zealand and the Bitterroot Mountains and Hawaii and Alaska and South America and all the other possibilities that are tucked in there. Someday I'll do them all. Maybe next year. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Just curious, what are you planning for?
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