blogging=fail. this=what I've been doing instead

1. Canoeing at the Lake. Oh my love of my life!
2. Wishing I were hiking--seriously, I've only gone once this summer. Lame.
3. Exercising! No homework=running, biking, and going to the gym after work instead of the library. Happiness!
4. Sitting in the Hammock. At this point, I have really refined my hammock sitting skills.
5. Moving twice. In eight weeks. And planning on it again in two. Ugh.
6. Writing to my sister who is in Tonga and my roommate who is in Africa.
7. Planning to see Captain America. This weekend--FINALLY!
8. Expanding my list of "oven-free" foods, aka things that I can eat that don't require I heat up the house with the stove.
9. Sleeping outside because it's too hot to sleep in my room. But I'm not complaining. I'd rather sleep outside.
10. Planning (mostly) extra-national trips I'm realistically probably not going to take. At this point I've already planned trips to: China, Jamaica, Texas, Georgia, Tonga, New Zealand, Germany, Hawaii, Mexico, Japan, Alaska, Jerusalem, and Africa, none of which have come to fruition. That's alright though. I'm going camping next month, and to D.C. to visit friends for Thanksgiving. I'll probably survive this year inside the country (but if you hear of me flying to Costa Rica randomly in the next month, you'll know I just couldn't take it anymore).
11. Surprising my family for the community fourth of July celebration. Water slides and pot-lucks--you can't beat 'em.
12. Inventing new smoothies. Peach, pineapple, mango, strawberry, oatmeal, ice, and soymilk is a favorite atm.
13. Spending time with my roommates, whom you already know I love.
14. Spending time with my brother, whom I also LOOOOOVE. <3
15. Oh yeah, working at my full-time job.
16. Canning chicken at my aunt's house! I love self-reliance!
17. Watching my garden grow. I already ate a zucchini!
18. Begging random friends to let me mow their lawn. I love mowing lawns.
19. Spending a week with my cousins. Best week!
20. Staring at the sky and mountains. SUMMER NIGHTS ARE MY FAVORITE THING EVER. (at least they're neck-and-neck with early summer mornings).
21. Pretending to catch up on my reading list. Yeah..... I've really only read four books this whole summer so far. Also a fail.
22. Reading my friends blogs.
23. Writing my application for grad school. I decided on the PhD program to begin at the end of Feb. next year. So excited!
24. Getting stoked for the Rugby world cup. It's going to be awesome!

Well, that's life since April. Hopefully you'll hear from me again before November. :)


Make good choices!

-peace, love. kc

to be read aloud

I memorized this when I was 17 as part of a stake challenge. I mean it honestly when I say that the experience changed my life. I am so grateful that these words are still in my head--they uplift me and strengthen my testimony that He is the Living Son of the Living God. He is the Living Christ.

peace. love. -kc

 

The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles

"The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles," The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles, (2000)

---

As we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ two millennia ago, we offer our testimony of the reality of His matchless life and the infinite virtue of His great atoning sacrifice. None other has had so profound an influence upon all who have lived and will yet live upon the earth.

He was the Great Jehovah of the Old Testament, the Messiah of the New. Under the direction of His Father, He was the creator of the earth. “All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3). Though sinless, He was baptized to fulfill all righteousness. He “went about doing good” (Acts 10:38), yet was despised for it. His gospel was a message of peace and goodwill. He entreated all to follow His example. He walked the roads of Palestine, healing the sick, causing the blind to see, and raising the dead. He taught the truths of eternity, the reality of our premortal existence, the purpose of our life on earth, and the potential for the sons and daughters of God in the life to come.

He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice. He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross. He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.

We solemnly testify that His life, which is central to all human history, neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded on Calvary. He was the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten Son in the flesh, the Redeemer of the world.

He rose from the grave to “become the firstfruits of them that slept” (1 Corinthians 15:20). As Risen Lord, He visited among those He had loved in life. He also ministered among His “other sheep” (John 10:16) in ancient America. In the modern world, He and His Father appeared to the boy Joseph Smith, ushering in the long-promised “dispensation of the fulness of times” (Ephesians 1:10).

Of the Living Christ, the Prophet Joseph wrote: “His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of his head was white like the pure snow; his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters, even the voice of Jehovah, saying:

“I am the first and the last; I am he who liveth, I am he who was slain; I am your advocate with the Father” (D&C 110:3–4).

Of Him the Prophet also declared: “And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!

“For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—

“That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:22–24).

We declare in words of solemnity that His priesthood and His Church have been restored upon the earth—“built upon the foundation of … apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone” (Ephesians 2:20).

We testify that He will someday return to earth. “And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together” (Isaiah 40:5). He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords, and every knee shall bend and every tongue shall speak in worship before Him. Each of us will stand to be judged of Him according to our works and the desires of our hearts.

We bear testimony, as His duly ordained Apostles—that Jesus is the Living Christ, the immortal Son of God. He is the great King Immanuel, who stands today on the right hand of His Father. He is the light, the life, and the hope of the world. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come. God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son.

The gift of humor

Of all the talents I wish I had, being funny is close to the top of the list. I don't know why, but I'm just not a funny person. My older sister though, she is funny. So is my brother. Most of my siblings in fact are really funny, FUNNY people. Given almost any subject or medium to work with, they can pretty much always make you laugh. I was just thinking about this this week as I was rereading some old posts from my sisters blog (specifically the posts from May-June 2008). Maybe it's all the misspellings, the witty sarcasm, or her obsessive love of plants. Maybe it's just that I'm related to her and therefore think she's stinkin hilarious. Whatever it is, I was rolling on the floor laughing while reading and simply wished that I were funnier. And my brother too. I don't have any clips that I can show you, but my roommate labeled my brother her "favorite TV show," because he makes us laugh so hard. When he is on one of his rolls, I think I probably burn about 9000 calories per half hour I spend listening to him. Seriously. Laughing is a good workout. While my relatives seem so comedically talented, I, on the other hand, am generally always termed a "serious" person. I really used to feel bad about this, because I felt like my inability to be funny was most likely a reflection of being a boring person. I have realized, however, that being serious doesn't have to mean being boring, it can just mean being sober, or being sincere, right? So, while you may invite my siblings to a party because they'll bring some laughs, you might invite me if you needed someone to talk to. If I can't make you laugh, at least you'll know you're loved, which might be just as good in the end. In any case, I probably should attempt to learn some jokes, but I guess I can stop feeling bad if I mess up the punchline.

Jesus loves you

"The Lord God worketh not in darkness. He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. Wherefore he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation. Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: Come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price. Behold, hath he commanded any that they should depart out of the synagogues, or out of the houses of worship? Behold, I say unto you, Nay. Hath he commanded any that they should not partake of his salvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but he hath given it free for all men; and he hath commanded his people that they should persuade all men to repentance. Behold, hath the Lord commanded any that they should not partake of his goodness? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but all men are privileged the one like unto the other, and none are forbidden."

2 Nephi 26:23-28

Oh hey!

My life is amazing. I know I haven't been good about keeping it up-to-date on here, but it really is. Cases in point:

 1. Today my brother drove to my work (35+) minutes from where he lives, just to bring me flowers and give me a hug. One dozen red and white roses, just because he loves me. (mine are prettier than this pic, by the way)

2. One of my best friends gets back from her mission tomorrow. She's spent the past 19 months sharing the gospel in the often bitter cold Moscowvian climate of Russia. Right now she's probably in the airport getting ready to board, and I can't wait to see her tired but glowing face at baggage claim.

3. The weather is getting better!

4. Good weather=long runs and bike rides!

5. It's almost General Conference weekend!

6. Two of my favorite people had birthdays this week. Happy Birthday Grandpa and Megan!

 I love you both!

 

7. I spent every night last week along with 8 hours on Saturday in the dungeon of the Harold B. Lee library. Although Harold isn't my ideal date, he does help me be productive, and of the

4 term papers

3 novels (approx. 950 pages of reading)

1 conference presentation

1 portfolio 

and 1 midterm 

that I had to do before the end of the semester, after a week with him I just have 80% of 2 papers and one book to go before April 13th, plus a few small other assignments.

8. I graduate, with honors, in 21 days, and my whole fam is going to be there.

9. I have a wonderful job.

10. I am surrounded by angels every day. 

I love my life.

stop worrying--i'm still alive

Hi.
I know it's been awhile. Sorry. So sorry.
News since I last wrote:
-Got a B+ on an Art history exam from the best/hardest professor. Happy? I think so.
-Rearranged my schedule so I can re-start running T/TH. Can't wait.
-Heard about, anticipated, and then experienced piles of snow tumbling out of previously-blue skies. It seems that Mr. Weather is experiencing his annual bio-polar phase right now. Oh well. I love it all. I'll take it.
- Finished creating a couple of poster presentations for some stuff coming up. Actually, to be honest, I finished approving the poster's my sister created. What? I'm paying her. She's a whiz when it comes to color and design, and I'm not--I think we should use our talents where we're able, and let others use their's too.

AND, the biggest news:
-PASSED my thesis defense. With flying colors (their words, not mine). Best. Experience. Absolutely loved it! Each of the members of my committee were so supportive and kind and they were just so proud of me I couldn't help but feel inspired and invigorated and comfortable as they took turns questioning me. AND, some of my friends and family came to see my presentation at the beginning-- I can't articulate how much that meant to me. I love you guys. Thanks for loving and supporting me. B.L.E.S.S.I.N.G. Oh, and PS--remember a couple of posts ago how I talked about how I got assigned the most difficult chair? yeah...... she was the nicest person in the world. She asked extremely insightful, deep questions and was absolutely one of the best parts of my experience. Yay for doing hard things!

So, I'm sorry that this is a lame post, but I thought you'd appreciate knowing what's been going on lately. Also, I've checked my stats and there are a few people reading this from Australia, Denmark, Israel, and SE Asia. Hi. How are you? My name is Kasia. Welcome to my life.

love love,

me

hmph

On Saturdays I am irritable. There is just so much to do, and no matter how good and grand and well organized my intentions, it usually seems that there's just not enough time to get it all accomplished.

And usually, at the end of the day, I realize that that's alright and the world will keep on spinning and in the eternal scheme of things, it doesn't matter too much.
But it's not the end of the day yet,
and though I'm over my irritated mid-day hump, now I'm just wishing time would slow down a bit so I can finish both my Machiavelli and Luther reading before 6 o'clock
when I can stop everything and get ready to go to Stake Conference.
I've been looking forward to it all week. I need some nourishment in my life. I need some Spirit.

So, now that I've expressed those feelings, I will go read my Machiavelli and Luther and try hard to get them done in the 36 minutes I have left. I can do this. Oh. 35.

Get to know Him

"The edit more we know of Jesus, the more we will love Him. The more we know of Jesus, the more we will trust Him. The more we know of Jesus, the more we will want to be like Him and to be with Him by becoming the manner of men and women that He wishes us to be, while living now 'after the manner of happiness'."

Neal A. Maxwell

"Plow in Hope" 

General Conference, April 2001

Click here to see the full article

I love America

We do big things.

This is why I love being an English major

Oh, the power of words.

"Recessional" by Rudyard Kipling

God of our fathers, known of old--
   Lord of our far-flung battle line
Beneath whose awful hand we hold
   Dominion over palm and pine--
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

The tumult and the shouting dies;
   The captains and the kings depart:
Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice,
   An humble and a contrite heart.
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

Far-called, our navies melt away;
   On dune and headland sinks the fire:
Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
   Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!
Judge of the Nations, spare us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

If, drunk with sight of power, we loose
   Wild tongues that have not Thee in awe--
Such boasting as the Gentiles use
   Or lesser breeds without the law--
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

For heathen heart that puts her trust
   In reeking tube and iron shard--
All valiant dust that builds on dust,
   And guarding, calls not Thee to guard--
For frantic boast and foolish word,
Thy mercy on Thy people, Lord!

13 things I wish I could do right now

Right now it is 10:25 pm on a Saturday night. I just got back from a volleyball game and finished grading a stack of German tests. My roommates all left to play elsewhere, and I am sitting in our arm chair listening to halves of songs until I get tired of them, and trying to figure out what applying to Grad school is really going to take. It is dark and cold outside, and although my foot is asleep from being tucked underneath me, I'm too apathetic to move it. If I could be doing any number of other things at the moment, these are some of them:

I would be...
1. sleeping on a plane headed to Tonga.
2. eating a salad at Cafe Rio.
3. in the middle of a tickle fight with my little brother. 
4. on a beautiful, long, taxing and totally-worth-it run to the lake with a friend.
5. sitting in a kayak skimming across Lake MacDonald at Glacier National Park.
6. looking at the stars through the top of a tent while camping with my family.
7. waiting for my little sister to get home from her date to preference tonight.
8. talking to my best friends.
9. driving a really big truck.
10. cheering at a Rugby game.
11. feeding people Pumpkin cookies.
12. lying in the sun after a day of tubing on the Snake River.
13. watching the moose while sitting on a bank fishing the Snake River.

No, I'm not dissatisfied, just dreaming. :)

news

Lots has happened this past week. Procrastination and/or laziness (aside from just being busy) has kept me from posting about them till now, but here you go:

1. I heard back from the Fulbright committee. I didn't get it. Feelings? Initial disappointment, followed by a whole lot of relief. At least I can finally make some plans! Simply not knowing was the hardest part. Now I can begin researching other scholarship options and who knows, maybe an even better opportunity will present itself!

2. I found out that my Great Works Responses for my honors portfolio passed. Hallelujah! First hurdle cleared, I now *just* have to pass my defense and pose for my senior portrait. :)

3. I found out that I got another undergraduate research grant. BLESSING!

4. I LOVE MY POSTCOLONIAL LITERATURE CLASS. That has to be in capital letters because I'm serious about it. Love. It.

5. BYU Rugby won their first two games. The first one was against Claremont Colleges, 86-0. Painful. The second, USD, 25-10. Wish I could have seen the games, but don't worry, I've read all the news articles and almost feel like I was there anyway. :)

6. I get to do a poster about my research for the annual Honors Thesis Symposium. fun fun. Creativity and inspiration, please come to me.

7. I was assigned a chair for my honors thesis defense. ... haha, this last piece of news is actually very humorous, but in order for you to understand why I have to delve into a little story: Last March I presented at a conference in Jackson Hole, Wyoming with a group of other honors students from BYU. While we were traveling there we talked about honors program stuff and one student asked one of the administrators who was there chaperoning us exactly how Thesis Defense Chairs are chosen. The adminstrator explained how, after you turn in your thesis and portfolio an email is sent to all of the professors who do honors thesis chair work and they pick (based on topic, educational genre,  how long the thesis is, etc.) who they want to chair. The student then asked who the most difficult chair was, from a student perspective. The administrator laughed and then named an English professor who is already infamous for her intense and intensely difficult classes. I had heard of this professor before, and although I've never taken a class from her, I have heard from many friends how difficult she is, especially when it comes to what you write for her. The honors admin explained that she is the most difficult because she really picks the thesis and the portfolio apart and gets the student to examine and defend every part of it. I started shaking in my shoes that day in the bus, and silently prayed that she wouldn't pick me to chair. I really worried about it for awhile but then realized that my fear was probably irrational; out of all the students who wrote theses, what was the likelihood that she would choose a random thesis about Germans in Tonga to chair?
 
haha.

You guessed it. Today I opened my email and there, sitting in my inbox, was a notification that my defense chair will be none other than, that's right, the very same English professor. After the initial punch-to-the-stomach kind of fear/shock, I started laughing uncontrollably. Oh, the irony. Needless to say, I'm a little bit more nervous now, but actually, I realized that I'm stoked! What better way to prepare myself for graduate school and really show that I know what I'm talking about than getting into a situation where I REALLY have to be at the top of my game? I know that any other professor would be challenging, but I have a suspicion that Heavenly Father gave me this one so that I could really stretch and humble and prepare myself. It's going to be AWESOME!!!

Hurrah! and done

(My bro. That's right, we're an eternal family. No, you can't have him.

But you can be jealous. He really is that awesome)

Guess what?
I'm done.
The project that I have been working on for the past two years is finished.
There is a pile of 300 pages of a portfolio + a 77 page thesis now sitting neatly in a tall printed pile on the desk of some honors representative.
I am $25.67 poorer and the copy center is $25.67 richer. But they're out at least a ream of paper.

Every Saturday that I have sacrificed,
every Friday night I spent sequestered in the attic of my house,
every green and pink sticky note still stuck in the pages of dozens of old research books,
every awkward moment that resulted from answering "worked on thesis" to the question of "how was your weekend?",
every weird look David Bowie* gave me over the summer,
and every phone call/text message/email that never got returned because I was busy

will soon be worth it.
Soon I will gather with some of the people I love most in life at a decorated table in a banquet hall to eat a catered meal on BYU plates. We will wear our Sunday best and drink with our pinkies up and smile as we listen to a speech about the prestige of graduating Summa Cum Laude from a University like BYU (and knowing me, I will probably cry.)

But that's not why I did it.
I did it so that I could show the little freshman Kasia who had no confidence in her future that indeed, with the help of the Lord, she can do hard things. She can make it happen. She can reach her goals. And if she can, you can too.

So Hurrah! Hurrah for finishing what we start! Hurrah for dreaming dreams bigger than we are! Hurrah for challenges that seem insurmountable and Hurrah for surmounting them! Hurrah for the Spirit of God which makes it possible to move mountains! The challenges are not over, nor will they ever be. In the case of my thesis there's still a defense, revision, publication, and classes in the way before I'm finished. Not to mention dealing with the terrible realization ***shudder*** that I will be graduating unmarried from the University with the most eligible bachelors in the nation. haha. There must be something wrong with me. :) But for real. I know it's not over yet, but I feel so much lighter now. The end is in sight! Hurrah for Israel!

*haha! Excerpt from one of my family letters this summer explaining David Bowie: "Funny story: there is a man who works as a librarian at the Archive who, for no apparent reason, does not like me at all. The first day I came in he wouldn’t speak directly to me, and instead spoke through his coworker who was seated next to him. “She’s looking for what?” he asked, as if I wasn’t standing 18 inches from him. “Did you ask her why?” “What does she expect to find here?” “Tell her to go to the search books.” Really weird. The next time I came in he rolled his eyes as I handed him my card to check-in, but still didn’t say anything. The next time I accidentally dropped the converter plug for my laptop on the ground as I walked through the door and when it fell to the floor he spun around and glared at me then walked over quickly to snatch my card from me and walked back to his desk. Nice of him to spare me the walk there.  :) This situation is made even better by the fact that the man just looks so CLASSIC. Haha—picture 6 foot tall, medium build, leather pointy-toed shoes, button up shirt, glasses, and shoulder-length David Bowie hair. Seriously. He can hate me if I can laugh about his hair. :)"

good day

lunch break.
sitting cross-legged on my office chair eating a ham sandwich.
listening to alan jackson.
dreaming of moving to the south
and road trips after graduation.
life is good.

a small break....

 (note: this is not my picture)

Right now it's portfolio crunch time, and the floor of my living room is buried under stacks and stacks and stacks of papers while I try to cram five years of my greatest undergraduate achievements into one 3" binder. While digging through my files for old papers I found a gem of inspirational literature. I feel that I can justify a 20 minute break from my 15 hour sorting frenzy to share it with you.

~~~~
"Are You One of The Priceless Few"
by William H. Danforth

I am on a voyage of discovery. I search for those of you who will go on a great adventure. I am looking for you, one of the audacious few, who will face life courageously, ready to strike straight at the heart of anything that is keeping you from your best; you intrepid ones behind whom the world moves forward. To you, I am going to unfold a secret power that but few know how to use--the secret power of daring and sharing which carries with it tremendous responsibilities. Once you have it, you can never be the same again. Once it is yours, you can never rest until you have given it to others. And the more you give away the greater becomes your capacity to give. Deep down in the very fiber of your being you must light an urge that will never be put out. It will catch this side of your life, then that side. It will widen your horizon. It will light up unknown reserves and discover new capacities for living and growing. It will become, if you don't look out, a mighty inferno that will consume your every waking hour. And to its blazing glory a thousand other lives will come for light and warmth and power.

It is going to take courage to let this urge posses you. My life in business and my contacts with young people have convinced me that the world is full of unused talents and latent ability. The reason these talents lie buried is that the individual hasn't the courage to dig them up and use them. Everybody should be doing better than he or she is, but only a few dare. Prospectors for gold tell us that gold is where they find it. It may be in a bed of a river or on the mountaintop. Prospectors for courage tell us the same thing; the one who dares may be found in a cottage or in a castle. But wherever you live, whoever you are, whatever you have or have not--if you dare, you are challenged to enlist in a cause.

H.G. Wells ells how every human being can determine whether he has really succeeded in life. He says: "Wealth, notoriety, place, and power are no measure of success whatever. The only true measure of success is the ration between what we might have done and what we might have been on the one hand, and the thing we have made and the thing we have made of ourselves on the other."

I want you to start a crusade in your life--to dare to be your best. I maintain that you are a better, more capable person than you have demonstrated so far. The only reason you are not the person you could be is you don't dare to be. Once you dare, once you stop drifting with the crowd and face life courageously, powers harness themselves for your service.

Who wants to do unimportant and uninteresting things? To desire something permanent in life, to develop your gifts to the largest possible use-that's your dare. You have a wealth of possibilities, but maybe up to this time you have lacked a definite aim. I dare you to aim at something worthy of the best that is in you.
~~~~

Makes you want to be better, right? Yes! Yet when I look around at all the papers on my floor and think how much more work I have to do before my goals are met, it's a little discouraging. BUT, I am trying to aim. I am trying to shoot high. Who knows where the arrow will land? Whether we live in a "cottage or a castle," the secret is in learning to dare. Amen.

Okay, now back to the books.

A Brand New Year!

Two years ago, when I had just gotten back from Vienna, I watched a program for youth online called "A Brand New Year." This program influenced my life (I would say changed, but I feel like that phrase is overused and therefore, getting cheap). It got me excited (more than I already was) for all the good stuff that is to come in life, no matter who or where you are. Tomorrow can ALWAYS be brighter than today. Faith is for the future. Anyway, I can't find the exact video that I watched and loved so much, but this is the home site for "A Brand New Year," and here is this years version. Enjoy!

As the old year passes, like you, I've taken several moments to reflect on the year come and gone, the experiences I've had, and the miracles I've seen. I've taken stock of where I am now compared to where I thought I would be, and set some goals for where I want to be this time next year. Some of my resolutions:
1. Say hi to people I see that I know (I sometimes struggle with this, mostly because of plain shyness--if I seem to have snubbed you in the past, I'm sorry! I'm going to be better!)
2. Keep up on my reading in classes!
3. Stop being afraid. Of people, of situations, of events to come.
4. Study the scriptures
5. Do what matters most
6. Smile.

So far I've been doing pretty well. I've found that the best way for me to achieve a goal is to follow the SMART rule of goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Also, reminding myself of my goals helps me to stay motivated because I never forget what I'm working toward. 

This new year is going to be great. I can feel it. Specifically I'm looking forward to a few key events this year:

•  Rugby season! starts this weekend, with our first home game on Feb. 16th. See byurugby.com for more info. 
• Graduation! woot! woot! I can't wait to attend the honors banquet with my fam and take pictures next to the BYU sign (not to mention everything else graduation entails, haha)

• Rugby world cup!!!!!!!! To be held in Auckland BEGINNING ON MY BIRTHDAY in September. How much more clear could it be that this is going to be a good year? It starts on my birthday! Not sure yet if I'll get to go to any games, but I'll keep you posted. Definitely watching it no matter what/where I am!
• Road trips! California, the South, and the East Coast. 
• Lots more learning! really,  I'm not all fun-focused. I'm super excited for my classes and the remaining papers I do have before I graduate. I'm planning on soaking in all the rest I can of the BYU experience before moving on. 
• and last possibility---maybe presenting at a few more conferences and receiving some special scholarships/grants? We'll see!

 So those are some of the biggest things in my life that I'm excited about this year. I hope you enjoyed the holidays and are gearing up for a whole slew of wonderful new experiences too. As always, with all the possibilities that exist in our lives and the truth that the Lord lives and the Gospel is restored, we have such great reason to rejoice!

Wise Men and Women Still Seek Him

I am not a fan of over-indulgence, commercialism, or materialism. Christmas time then, as with every other holiday, is often hard for me to swallow as I see it practiced in the media, department stores, and our culture. Always, it seems, the real reason we celebrate is pushed aside as we wake up early for Black Friday specials and max out our budgets spending for holiday gifts that are frequently spur-of-the-moment and, let's be honest, sometimes just stuff to put under the tree. But if Christmas is not in the gifts and the happy jingle bell music and the red and green colors and the "North Pole" display at the mall, where is it?

This is a question I ask myself each year, because to be honest, surveying the frenzied "celebrating" that goes on every December just makes me more and more desirous to NOT teach my children traditional Christmas traditions, and to pretty much hide my head the entire month. The memories that I always come back to, however, keep me from "Grinching" myself up, remind me of what the true spirit of Christmas is, and give me hope that, despite what we see going on around us, it is still possible to keep Christ in Christmas.

Let me share two memories I have with you that keep this hope burning.
The first is from when I was about five years old. We lived in a small, run-down house in a small community where we knew pretty much everyone and everyone knew us. My family didn't have a lot, and for Christmas this one particular year, two unknown benefactors had brought us some food. Though I'm sure we could have made use of it, instead of keeping everything for us my mom had an idea: she took one of the hams and packed it and us kids and my dad up in the car and we drove to a friends house. Roger was the name of the friend, and he was a man who lived near our neighborhood, divorced and alone. Roger was a long-haul truck driver who rode a Harley when he wasn't gone, and parked his 18 wheeler next to his house when he was home--the truck dwarfed the little white, two bedroom place he lived in. I remember being confused as to why we would be visiting him--he wore black leather and had a big, bushy beard and to me had always looked really scary--I didn't know him very well. My mom though, in her typical, big-hearted and friendly fashion, had thought of him when we had more than we needed, and we took the ham to his house and sat and visited with him awhile. He let me play with a kaleidoscope he had bought somewhere, and my sister and brother and I colored on his tiny kitchen table. I found out that he wasn't at all the big scary man I imagined him to be. In fact, a few years later when my dad was gone for some reason and my brother needed a substitute father for an activity at church, he called Roger who, flattered, dressed in his best black leather and picked my brother up on his motorcycle to take him.
When I think of the reason for Christmas, I often think of Roger, and the mysterious good Samaritan who gave to us so that we could give to him. I think of him in his black leather at church, beard trimmed, smiling and waving his fingers at my sister and me and singing the hymns loudly from the back row. I think of what I would have missed out on as a child if I hadn't know Roger. Since then, when I think of Christmas, I think of him and that one December night. 

The other memories I have which help me enjoy rather than resent the season are of the traditions my family keeps each year. To us, the most important part of Christmas is the days leading up to it when we decorate the house, get a tree, listen to Christmas carols, and make treats to share with others. We usually go caroling, we ALWAYS do the 12 Days of Christmas, and on Christmas morning we have a blast eating our traditional breakfast together and reveling in the last moments of excitement and anticipation before we open gifts. As everyone has gotten older the pleasure of Christmas centered on the bright paper and gifts seems to be getting displaced by the joy of being together and sharing time with one another. Though I sometimes miss the innocent butterflies-in-stomach kind of sleeplessness from when I was little, waking-up during the night to check the tree, creeping to find my stocking in the darkness, I love better now seeing the smiles on my younger siblings faces and truly giving, rather than recieiving, heartfelt gifts. When I think of Christmas, I hear scratchy John Denver Christmas songs and smell Orange Rolls and see colorful shadows and reflections of Christmas tree branches and lights on a darkened living room wall while lying next to my little brother on the ground, watching the scene. I think of the exuberance of my siblings when we sing to elderly neighbors and how fast my brothers run after doorbell ditching a "12 Days" recipient. In our home, we all believe in Santa Claus--not as a man in a red suit who will bring us everything we ever wanted, but as a feeling we all accept into our hearts and a place we all fill when we reach out and give to others.

In the hustle and bustle of this season, when I'm feeling frustrated with endless consumerism and cheery pointy-toed elves and stories of reindeer, the glow comes back to me by remembering what Christmas really means--that love came down to the earth, and we are able to grow and learn and change and live because of it. Christmas means giving to others, like those who gave to us, us giving to Roger, and all of the fun and excitement that comes by being a Christmas angel is someone else's life. The holiday is a time to spend with family and those who are dear, and to more earnestly seek out the Christ child who was born so humbly in Bethlehem. It occurs to me that, while our culture and our neighbors  may be out trying to find the best deals on last-minute minutia, it is perhaps infinitely better to be counted among those staying inside, seeking after the greatest gift of all--the Exaltation and Eternal Life which is promised to those who earnestly seek the Savior. This post is not to say that either myself or my family is perfect, but only to express how much I appreciate the time to step back out of mainstream Christmas and practice it in a way that brings more peace to me. As the wise men of old sought the baby Jesus not to ask for gifts or presents or healing or anything else they may have wanted, wise men and women still seek Him, bringing gifts of broken hearts and contrite spirits and lives worn out in His Service. I hope that as we keep Christmas this year, amidst everything else, we learn to keep it in our hearts, and truly keep it the whole year round. Merry Christmas.

my 2 absolute favorite Christmas movies

My little bro would say his are Jingle all the Way and How the Grinch Stole Christmas
All of my guy friends love A Christmas Story and The Muppet's Christmas Carol
Some are attached to Home Alone 1, 2, or 3
and others love Smoky Mountain Christmas, Christmas in Connecticut or While You Were Sleeping
Each year my family watches White Christmas and Holiday Inn and there are probably quite a few I'm forgetting.

I like all of those (bar a couple), but the two very best Christmas movies of all time, the ones I watch every year and pine after and am ALWAYS uplifted by and want my children and their children's children and their children's children's children to watch, are Mr. Kreuger's Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life. Always tear-jerking, always life changing. Try it. I promise you'll like it.

Yes, they both feature Jimmy Stewart. Very astute observation you. And yes, it's true, we are bosom friends. We're going to be neighbors in Heaven. But that's not why I love these. They're just amazing, that's why.

What does the birth of the Savior mean to YOU?

Hi Friend. I have something for you. I really need you to watch this video.  Then I need you to think about it, and write back to me to answer this one question: What does the birth of the Savior mean to you?

I've been thinking about this all day. This morning I went to Salt Lake to watch the Tabernacle Choir, David Archuleta, and Michael York perform for "Music and the Spoken Word," and also give a mini-concert after. It was beautiful. All the lights and music and the wonderful spirit, however, brought one question to my mind, that same one posed to you above, and the video I watched tonight made me ask myself again, "Kaj, what does the birth of Christ mean to you?" My answer? There are too many to write them all here, but as I've thought today, the following things came to mind:

• To me, the birth of Christ is a representation of God's love for us. Nephi once said, when asked if he knew/understood the condescension of God, that he didn't, but  he knew that the Lord loves his children (1st Nephi 11:16-17). Because of the birth of the Savior, I know that the condescension of God means the same thing as the love of God. Because God loved us He sent His Son to earth to atone for our sins--John 3:16. Christ is love (Moroni 7:47). 
• Because the Savior was born, He lived. Because He lived, I know how to live. Because He lived, He had to die. Because He died, we all can live  
• When the Lord was born, Hope came to the earth. 
• The birth of the Savior means to me that there are greater things than what I can see and understand. 
• The birth of the Savior means that we have great reason to rejoice. 

Also, isn't it interesting that the words in English for the Sun and for a son/the Son are homophones?  And not only do they share the same sound, their meanings are also related. They are both glorious, powerful things that bring great light into the world, beyond the mortal understanding, comprehension, or ability to be harnessed by the sons of men. I wonder what the entomology of these words is. Wouldn't it be interesting if we named the Sun after the Son because of the great light it gave to the world? Just a thought.


But now it's your turn to answer my question. What does the birth of the Savior mean to you? Comments would be appreciated. Thanks.

This is Important

Important news from Washington, D.C. last week: Leaders from Diverse Faiths Express Committment to Protect Marriage

And click here to read more about the LDS church's views on marriage.